Normal service

...has resumed here in Cuckoo Land. It's not like I can take a week off work to lie in bed and sob all day long! Which is very much what I'd quite like to do, especially as I feel sick and dizzy from the medication I'm taking. But the show must go on and it would do me no good to wallow. Therefore I'm getting on with things best I can. Don't get me wrong, I'm still feeling all that I have been feeling but now it's all out in the open, literally, right out there in the whole world wide web, I'm feeling a positivity creeping over me. I have felt a number of emotions since flinging my last post out there. All the ones you'd expect but also embarrassment. I wasn't expecting that. I suppose for all the "I hate how we don't talk openly about depression" babble I am one of those who has the taboo deeply ingrained into my social persona. I have hovered over the delete button several times, but then I'll remember that in my small way I'm doing what I can to try to break down the stereotypes and the stigma. Also I feel a bit like I have polluted my 'happy place', my neat and tidy sunny blog with gloominess.

I've been touched deeply by all the comments on  my last post. The support you have sent my way does help you know. I have been amazed by not only the amount of private emails I have received but the length of these emails, the kindness in them, the sharing of experience, the overwhelming desire the writer had to try to help me. I am humbled. I will be responding to each and every one as the weeks pass.

It's been more cathartic writing my last blog post and responding to well wishers than the months and months of counselling I have had in the past. But the biggest thing to make a difference was an unexpected email from a fellow bloggers husband. He emailed to say that I have helped him understand his wife better. She is in the same boat as me, sometimes buoyant, sometimes sinking. To know I have properly helped at least one person has made me feel like there truly is a reason for everything.

And for now that is all I will say on the matter of my frame of mind, I shall just quietly get back on track. I'm ever hopeful that I'll snap back quickly this time since I hadn't been walking about getting more and more sad for months on end.

Ok then moving on. Lets talk crochet! I've been crocheting quite a bit since Tuesday. And I have a couple of tad dahhhhhhhhh moments coming on.  I have finished my ripple cowl and the cushion cover for Little's room. I'll do a proper post for each a bit later. But here is a sneaky peek.

The ripple snood waiting for the ends to be woven in

Little is delighted with his bolster cushion

Mini and Little are ill. Not that you'd know it when the calpol kicks in but it is making for quite a tiring time round here. Big has an infection that the creams aren't touching and you already know what's going on with me. Poor Mr C, not only has his wing man fallen meaning he is having to pick up the slack but he has injured his shoulder making it all a bit more tricky. Our half term holiday isn't what we'd planed as we are under house arrest lest we spread about our nasty germs. Therefore I have been focusing on the niceties  of a quite life at home.

Still enjoying flowers Clairey gave me when I got Christened.
They have lasted so long.

Eating plenty of fresh fruit and veg

Drinking fresh mint tea

Enjoying the last of the meadow flowers and sweetpeas

Feasting on delicious soup made from cauliflower and horseradish

Drinking lots of tea (Heather this ones for you!)

So there we are. That's the state of play around here.

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Sometime ago now I received a surprise parcel in the post from Sandi (she said she wasn't going to make a habit of sending stuff but I think she fibbed!) Inside was some cream and maroon felt tied with pretty ribbon and these suuuuper duuuuper egg cosies.

Thank you so much Sandi, you perfectly gorgeous lady. (see Sandi's post here)

ps. Next week I am going to New York with Mr C for one of My Girls wedding. Rah is getting married!!!! Granny is moving in to look after the boys. She's such a good egg. There aren't many people who would look after my chaotic brood for nearly a week. She is looking forward to it. I'm not sure if I should warn her what it's really like around here or to keep schtum. Why shatter her illusions! I'm very excited to be going to NYC as I haven't been for such a long time. I used to go twice a month when I was crew for Virgin Atlantic but I haven't been since January 2001. I'm so happy I'll be there to see Rah marry but, oh my, how I will miss the baby. It's ok with the boys as I can talk to them on the phone and I'm used to them being at school or away for the occasional weekend. I haven't left the baby for so long before nor been so far away. I'm very apprehensive that my homesickness will spoil what should be a welcome break and a fantastic holiday. I suppose it's perfect timing in that I'll be able to rest and relax properly but bad timing in that I'm not feeling myself and my imagination is going into high drama overtime.

If anyone has any thoughts on what places, shops, museums, restaurants we should visit then please let me know. I will be doing all the usual stuff but I don't want to miss the less well known places.

pps. Mini's first tooth popped up on the 20th October and he has started to crawl properly. He also properly vomits anytime I try to feed him something savoury. He gags, retches and then throws up the contents of his tummy. So any reassuring stories of fussy eating babies that now eat everything would be most welcome. My other boys preferred fruit to veg but they never threw up, they just spat it out.

ppps. Broody hen is no longer broody and has finally started laying again.