Wednesday, 21 September 2011

12.21am 21.09.05

Six years ago today after a swift labour my tiny weeny 5lb 13oz precious baby boy was born. 

I'd been mythering for a few days, twinges that didn't bother me much, nothing that stopped me from painting furniture for the nursery. I had two weeks till my due date and so I wasn't quite prepared for our first born. His nursery was a blank canvas for I didn't know he was a boy at that point. In fact I was quietly certain he was a girl. I was definitely pregnant with a girl who I would call Dorothy after my Nanny Dot.

The labour went very well, it was fast paced but not so much that I couldn't cope. Gas and air was excellent, I loved it! "I'm plastered!" I declared. (Actually I really said "I'm Sh*t faced" but we will have no bad language in my nice well mannered blog!) The gas and air made my mouth feel funny and at one point I asked Mr C if my lips looked funny. They felt like a beak so I made a few quack noises just to go with the flow and then found myself to be so funny that I laughed and laughed then spontaneously started pushing and promptly tiddled all over the bed! Nice! What style. Thank goodness for that gas and air numbing me from the indignity. I'd have been horrified at myself otherwise.

As I started pushing it became apparent that the baby's cord was getting squashed as his heart rate would drop. After just a few more contractions his heart wasn't recovering quick enough before I had another contraction. Suddenly the room that had been filled with laughter and quacking became a room filled with doctors and midwives and the crash team ready to knock me out and pull my baby out of the sunroof. They took away the gas and air (horrors!) and put me on oxygen.

Size 1 newborn nappies swamped him he was so tiny for 38 weeks

I was terrified. I remember trying to breathe the oxygen in deeply and imagine it flowing to my baby. I was on the verge of panicking and knew that would not help at all. Mr C says I had a funny look come over me. I firmly believe my head disconnected from my body in that moment. I remember what I thought was an owl (I know!) telling me "Your baby is very distressed, you need to push with all your might and get your baby out with the next contraction" That was the most terrifying thing I had ever heard in my life.

The next contraction came and I was so frightened, I was utterly immobilised with fright, I really couldn't see how I was ever going to get the baby out. But my body had other ideas.  My head was thinking it couldn't be done, I wouldn't be able. I hadn't the strength. I was too scared. Then I realised my body was doing it. It was pushing out the baby, all by itself. I wasn't even telling it to. Honestly the relief I felt when I, The Head, realised that The Body was doing it with out me was huge!

He reminds me of Bono from U2 here!

Suddenly there was a small, warm baby on my tummy. "What's this?" I thought "They must have given me a decoy baby, my big baby girl must be very ill if they've given me this one to distract me.... " Think I must have lost the plot.

It took me a moment to get my head to reconnect and realise that I had just given birth to a tiny baby boy. A baby who bore no ill effects from the heart decelerations, who came out screaming merry hell!

The boys call my Mum Bobber! As in Bonne Maman.

Minutes old

"We've got a son!" Mr C said. Shortly after my Mum came in followed by Bee. I turned and said "I've got a son!" I could not believe HE was here. I'd only just finished painting his bookcase.

Oh how I love this sweet boy of mine.

Six years old, the years have flown by, he's done well considering the teasing he gets because of his name.......Dorothy....... Just kidding!!!! Had you there hey?! Oh I'm such a card. He has a nice normal boy name, I just don't put any of our names on here as I know someone from my past googles me/us and if I put our names on my blog he'd be sure to find it and I don't want him nosing into my life.


ps Read Bee's account here


  1. That's spooky, I just came to your blog to comment on your last post and here was this one!
    Ah, love your baby boy - he looks a real smasher - makes me a bit gooey reading this - some things are never the same after you've had children, are they? I too had oxygen when my (nearly) six-year-old was born - possibly the most terrifying experience of my life - alarms going off, lights flashing, people running around all over the place, people turning me onto my left side to help get oxygen to him (makes me want to cry just writing this), blue baby, temperature dropping....and now I have a huge maniac running around making too much noise and mess! Makes me really appreciate how lucky I am living and having babies in this country - thank you NHS.
    Emily x
    PS - I don't know what I was talking about in my email - I did see your email about favicons - thank you!

  2. I agree with Emily, hearing birth stories brings back strong memories. In fact, I remember the c-section of number 1 and the natural delivery of number 2 with crystal clear clarity (unlike the rest of my life, which is a blur).
    I remember at one point, during number 2's delivery, thinking 'who the bloody hell is that woman screaming?' and then realising it was me.
    Body and mind in two very separate places, and thank goodness the body knew what to do.
    Lovely post, hon.

  3. What a lovely post! Our bodies are amazing, I know exactly what you mean about things happening naturally when you're scared and don't know how to do it, I remember the same feeling on my first too. However you look far more glam than I did after my first, for some bizarre reason my face went really fat just on the day and I looked a lot like moonface!

    It is my littlest's third birthday tomorrow and I can remember his birth very clearly (9lb 8.5oz, as a friend said, my cello playing days are over!). Birth is amazing.....ah, now, I've gone all tingly.....

  4. Oh Cuckoo, what a moving post, but you do make me laugh with your various descriptions..........
    Glad everything turned out well and here you both are six years on. Gorgeous pic of Big, there's a cheeky sparkle in his eyes.......

    My one and only is now 20 and I remember crawling under the doona and thinking "I don't want to come out till he's old enough to feed, dress and toilet himself........well we got there quite some time ago actually, lol.......

    Being a mum is the hardest but most rewarding job going and your wee fellas are testament to the fab job you are doing...........
    Enjoy every minute as they grow so quickly.

    Thanks for stopping by over at mine, was lovely to hear from you.

    Claire :}

  5. This post made me weepy, it's just beautiful!
    Love that the owl told you what to do!!!!
    I had such a similar experience, we had the cord wrapped around my youngest neck panic, and I can remember disconnecting form my panic, and just thinking I had to not think and focus on getting her out. I didn't have an owl but, sadface.
    Hope AlmostDorothy has a super birthday

  6. Ah, what a lovely post - as a former antenatal teacher I love birth stories!!

    You're quite right that your body will "do it without you" - if a woman is unconscious the contractions would actively push the baby out without any help from her, our concious pushing just speeds the process up.

    You are not helping my broodiness one little bit!!

    Happy birthday Big Cuckoo!!


    S x

  7. What a lovely post to read just before I pop off to bed.. even at my age.. (no I'm not declaring that on the internet, suffice to say my children are 27, 23 and almost 21)... it brings memories flooding back.. and broodiness too - scary! Ah well... Grandchildren must be just around the corner! Happy Birthday to your little one.. :)x

  8. You had me in tears right up until the bit about being teased because of his name!!! Now my kids are pestering to find out why I'm laughing so much! It really is the most beautiful post and I'm sure any mum out there will be feeling just as emotional as me after reading it. My 'baby' will be 7 next week and I just can't believe it. He's come a long way from the skinny conehead wee bub I first met!!

  9. Oh how I love your blog!

    My "little" boy turns 14 tomorrow, but he did end up being pulled out the sunroof in the end.......

    Happy Birthday to your oldest blessing.


  10. My sun roof babies are at work and school now! (I have this awfully attractive handbag type pouch that lives on my tummy as a nice keepsake of their births!)
    Time goes so quickly. Cherish your boys and their babyhood, mrs.

  11. I too love a birthing story - as long as it's got a happy ending. Ins't it funny how much detail we can recall from years ago (especially #1!) and yet I can't remember what I came on the laptop to do. Pretty sre it wasn't blogging!
    Happy birthday biggest boy!
    fee ♥

  12. What a gorgeous boy he is too you clever thing.

    I loved the gas and air - I had it with both of mine. It made my voice all thick and raspy which, I thought at the time, was the funniest thing in the world! Let's face it, after 25 and 17 hours of labour respectively, I was desperate for a laugh!!!

    Many, many happy returns to your precious boy.


  13. Awww Happy Birthday Big Cuckoo!

    I think the human body is a wonderful thing. Its amazing really how it all works again and again. I dont think before I had babies I appreciated what a miracle literally just getting into this world is. Very blase about it all.

    Not now though when I cuddle up and smell my everyday miracles!

    Hope you all have a fantastic time celebrating your lovely boys birthday! Poor Dorothy! lol.

    MBB x

  14. The memories never fade, #1 is almost 29 and I remember his birth like it was yesterday, me sitting in a birthing chair, with a numb bum that swelled up through lack of circulation, sat on frozen condoms for a couple of days until I was back to normal size hehehehe. Awwww Big, sooooo cute, look at that smile and that beautiful hair and squeeky clean face :)
    x Sandi

  15. Happy Birthday to your gorgeous boy!

    What a lovely story - it made me a little bit weepy I must say! I love a good birth story but what is it about babies being born that reduces grown women to tears? One episode of 'One born every minute' and I'm a wreck!!!
    My fav bit was the owl speaking to you - maybe a midwife in Deirdre Barlow glasses?
    I never got to established labour - there was no way I was getting a 7lb 13oz, forehead first and back-to-back, baby out of my teeny 4' 11'' frame which means I've never experienced the delights of gas and air! Didn't even bother trying with my second - straight out the sunroof with no messing! xxx

  16. I have just enjoyed beans on toast mixed with tears....I could hardly read your post and have had to grab a tissue.

    I still can't believe my little peach is 6yrs old, I remember you coming over for dinner with Mr C (when you had the previous day told me you were not pregnant) and you came over to me and said, I'm expecting a baby (god I'm crying!!! again) and I squealed so loud with excitement and then told you off for lying to me....tee hee

    Love my family so much, I feel so lucky to have you in my life, Luv Bee xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  17. Ahhhhhh so beautiful...................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  18. Ahh, Happy Birthday BIG!!! Such a handsome boy. I love hearing other peoples birth stories. I managed to get through 3 canisters of gas & air when my eldest was born - I'm amazed I remember any of it, really!
    R x

  19. ahhh I love hearing how little people came into the world..Happy birthday to your very cute boy :)
    x x x x x x x x x x

  20. simple splendid! Happy Birthday to "Dorothy" and to his dear Mama that did all the work 6 yrs ago :)

  21. Ah love that story, I had goosebumps reading the bit where the doctors came in. Even though I knew the ending was good I started reading on quickly - ha ha!
    I too thought I was hilarious from gas and air, my stern 'old school' midwife really didn't which just made it even funnier (like in school when you are told not to laugh).
    Lovely post...
    Nelly xxx

  22. Meant to add - how good do you look on that post labour photo?!? I had to delete most of ours, I look like I have been dug up. I remember thinking prior to labour that I must make sure I wear something nice for a photo with our newborn, ahhh the naivety. Y

  23. Big has such a beautiful little face, his eyes are full of knowing and warmth <3 Your entire blog post made me want some babies NOW.

    I wanted to comment on your summer post and you beat me to it with another blog post. I loved your summer blog post, it was so happy and you've done so much. How beautiful was the view from the villa btw? gorgeous! Each time I read your blog I feel more and more chuffed that you want to meet me :-)
    Love Heather xxxxxxxx

  24. Oh! Cuckoo ,you never fail to make me lol! Thanks for sharing such a sweet post.Happy belated birthday to Big,He is Gorgeous.xxxxxxxxxxxx

  25. This was the best birth story EVER!! So gripping. You had me on the edge of my seat. I am so glad it turned out okay in the end! :0) Dorothy is beautiful. :0) You did good, mama.

    Thanks for pointing out my error on my blog! LOL! I AM on the right... I am terrible with my left and right. It's pathetic.

  26. Crochet with Raymond24 September 2011 at 22:04

    wow, what a story! I can't believe how cute he was as a tiny baby! I agree, he does look very Bono in the incubator... If Lady Gaga was a follower of your blog I bet she would be stealing his styles for her next concert!
    I love your honest account of childbirth, that must have been so frightening. Love the photo of the three of you BTW, you are so gorgeous!:OD Have an ace day,

  27. aawwww such a wonderful post. Happy birthday to your little man ;-))) dee xx

  28. Happy Birthday to the little guy! He is so cute.
    I can't believe how tiny he was, such a cutey!
    see you again soon,

  29. Happy Birthday little cuckoo!
    What a lovely story accompanied by lovely photos - just love the 'grown-up' picture.
    Jo x

  30. happy birthday to your little man! i saw you gave encouragement to another blogger and i wanted to tell you how sweet it was...your heart is truly big!

  31. Happy birthday Cuckoo! What a handsome son you have!!!

    Lieve groet,

    Madelief x

  32. Shit faced sounds better! ;)

    A belated Happy Birthday to Dorothy! : - )

    I do love the way you write on your blog, I feel like I'm sat talking to you.

    Lou xxx

  33. Awwww I do love a good birth story! It's worryingly making me feel very broody indeed though!! Big Cuckoo looks a sweetie, bet he doesn't look that innocent all of the time though..! haha

    The feeling of when they hand you your brand-new baby is truly incredible. And oh the smell! I LOVE that smell that all newborn babies have. I just couldn't stop smelling Rose.. I do look forward to that again, if we're lucky enough to have another baba.

    You look amazing considering you've just givenbirth! I had Rose at home and have a photo of us sat on the sofa afterwards that the midife took and I look So deathly pale! No one will ever see those photo's!

    Ashley xxx

    P.s- I love the name Dorothy.

  34. Such a great story! Blessings to you as you celebrate this very special season. Treasure each and every moment. And yes... you had me for a split second about naming him Dorothy. Thanks for the laugh!


I L♡VE your comments. Thank you ever so for taking the time. I do try to get back to everyone but I am rather scatty and I have these 3 big distractions....(and I'm just generally a bit rubbish lately, so please don't feel obliged to leave a note) Sorry about the word verification too, too much spam.