12.21am 21.09.05

Six years ago today after a swift labour my tiny weeny 5lb 13oz precious baby boy was born. 

I'd been mythering for a few days, twinges that didn't bother me much, nothing that stopped me from painting furniture for the nursery. I had two weeks till my due date and so I wasn't quite prepared for our first born. His nursery was a blank canvas for I didn't know he was a boy at that point. In fact I was quietly certain he was a girl. I was definitely pregnant with a girl who I would call Dorothy after my Nanny Dot.

The labour went very well, it was fast paced but not so much that I couldn't cope. Gas and air was excellent, I loved it! "I'm plastered!" I declared. (Actually I really said "I'm Sh*t faced" but we will have no bad language in my nice well mannered blog!) The gas and air made my mouth feel funny and at one point I asked Mr C if my lips looked funny. They felt like a beak so I made a few quack noises just to go with the flow and then found myself to be so funny that I laughed and laughed then spontaneously started pushing and promptly tiddled all over the bed! Nice! What style. Thank goodness for that gas and air numbing me from the indignity. I'd have been horrified at myself otherwise.

As I started pushing it became apparent that the baby's cord was getting squashed as his heart rate would drop. After just a few more contractions his heart wasn't recovering quick enough before I had another contraction. Suddenly the room that had been filled with laughter and quacking became a room filled with doctors and midwives and the crash team ready to knock me out and pull my baby out of the sunroof. They took away the gas and air (horrors!) and put me on oxygen.

Size 1 newborn nappies swamped him he was so tiny for 38 weeks

I was terrified. I remember trying to breathe the oxygen in deeply and imagine it flowing to my baby. I was on the verge of panicking and knew that would not help at all. Mr C says I had a funny look come over me. I firmly believe my head disconnected from my body in that moment. I remember what I thought was an owl (I know!) telling me "Your baby is very distressed, you need to push with all your might and get your baby out with the next contraction" That was the most terrifying thing I had ever heard in my life.

The next contraction came and I was so frightened, I was utterly immobilised with fright, I really couldn't see how I was ever going to get the baby out. But my body had other ideas.  My head was thinking it couldn't be done, I wouldn't be able. I hadn't the strength. I was too scared. Then I realised my body was doing it. It was pushing out the baby, all by itself. I wasn't even telling it to. Honestly the relief I felt when I, The Head, realised that The Body was doing it with out me was huge!

He reminds me of Bono from U2 here!

Suddenly there was a small, warm baby on my tummy. "What's this?" I thought "They must have given me a decoy baby, my big baby girl must be very ill if they've given me this one to distract me.... " Think I must have lost the plot.

It took me a moment to get my head to reconnect and realise that I had just given birth to a tiny baby boy. A baby who bore no ill effects from the heart decelerations, who came out screaming merry hell!

The boys call my Mum Bobber! As in Bonne Maman.

Minutes old

"We've got a son!" Mr C said. Shortly after my Mum came in followed by Bee. I turned and said "I've got a son!" I could not believe HE was here. I'd only just finished painting his bookcase.

Oh how I love this sweet boy of mine.

Six years old, the years have flown by, he's done well considering the teasing he gets because of his name.......Dorothy....... Just kidding!!!! Had you there hey?! Oh I'm such a card. He has a nice normal boy name, I just don't put any of our names on here as I know someone from my past googles me/us and if I put our names on my blog he'd be sure to find it and I don't want him nosing into my life.

xxx

ps Read Bee's account here