Falling through the days

How time passes, even when you're awake 19 hours a day, it marches on, the days feel so long and yet they somehow turn into tomorrow. It seems just seconds ago that I was sat in my moulded spot on the sofa crocheting tiny stars for a garland to go in Mini Cuckoo's room (not finished it yet, but will reveal all soon, they are too cute to keep quiet about).  This photo was taken the Tuesday before he was born, every time I see it this song by ABBA comes into my head, "The Day Before You Came", nothing to do with storks landing but it is what my brain starts singing.

19 hours awake! Oh the things I could accomplish in that time if only I had a little more strength.  Actually that's tosh, I'd still be sitting and cuddling my baby and doing nothing much more regardless of feeling very pale and washed out due to haemorraging. I can't get enough of this little one, maybe it's because I feel it is likely that he will be my last.

I've had to abandon breast feeding and I've been in bits about it.  But my baby hasn't gained enough weight, he's very unsettled and the jaundice isn't getting any better.  I've never managed a good milk supply despite eating and drinking well and resting a lot.  So I'll cherish the photo below as it was taken when I felt hopeful that I'd manage it this time, third time lucky and all that.  Spot the bobble tutorial in the making.

The weather was glorious here the day I started this post. When the weather is like this I wish so much that the kitchen was south facing though I know it would be far too hot on a sunny summers day.  I live in the kitchen.  When Mr Cuckoo goes off on his annual ski trip with out us I don't use any other room during the day. I visit the bathroom, I go into the utility and I sleep in our room, but I spend the day in the kitchen, despite not being able to see the stunning view we have on the other side of the house.  We have a couple of sofa's and a tv in the kitchen so there's no need to venture off anywhere else.  I'm not keen on being far from the kettle!  Soon we'll have the Aga mended so next Autumn will be much more enjoyable than the last as the kitchen will be roasty toasty!

I'm trying to keep up the blogging momentum.  I  wish I'd come to blogger sooner, I have so much I want to share but I simply haven't enough time.  You see I have this very important baby cuddling job and I take my work seriously (smiling)

xxx