Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Too funny!

Some time ago now I was sitting up in bed having "Secret Time" a phrase I have nicked from KMMMS, my Gay Wife. Secret time is when you are awake when it's your turn for a lie in and instead of sleeping you do something wonderful like crochet or read.  So there I was enjoying Secret Time with the laptop quietly reading a blog I enjoy a lot, Apples and Pears. I was being quiet as a mouse as the baby monitor was on and I knew if my boys heard me they'd be up like a shot ready to bounce around like Tigger and make me giddy........then I saw this:

Cue LOUD snort of laughter. Bye bye Secret Time! Worth it though. Pop over to Andreas to see more of these terribly funny crochet projects. 

My Belle Mere has loaned me a knitting and crochet booklet from days of old and there are some funny bits in there that the Helmets for Men reminded me of. Actually, not to be unkind, there are quite a few things that I'd like to have a go at making as they are still scrummy. Might need a colour tweak though.

You wouldn't know it but this cape is no ordinary cape. Evidently it's a vital piece of security equipment that no caring and loving parent should be with out!

Watch out for those DANGEROUS drafts! They could blow your child into outer space!!

Is this poor child choking from being garroted or about to barf?

I do like this blanket very, very much. Even the colour is fabby. I love the pop flowers on the wall and the toddlers expression. 

I have half a mind to make this for Mini for the school run. Mr C's Granny made one for my Belle Soeur when she was little. I think it is lovely and just a teeny weeny bit funny too.

I'd quite like to make all 3 Cuckoos one of these as dressing gowns. Stripy ones. Yu-um!

If anyone likes anything they see here I'll happily share the patterns with you.

I'm feeling a bit miffed. I subscribed over the weekend to the new craft mag Mollie Makes. There's an offer on for 3 issues for a fiver. What I'm miffed about is that the subscription starts in a few weeks and it doesn't include the limited launch mag. The one with the apple cosies I fancy doing as gifts for Big and Littles teachers at the end if term. Humpf.

Thank you all so much for the gorgeous comments on my tea party post. They lifted me out of a gloomy streak, actually a very dark gloomy streak. It was mean red (name that film). Thank you so much. Truly.

Also thank you for helping out with Nicki's question on my last post. That's what I love about you Bloddies. My made up name for Blog Buddies. You rock!


ps. Anyone got a pattern of the Helmets for Men apple cozy they can share with me?

edit: for anyone wanting the 3 for a fiver Mollie Makes deal here's where to go


  1. I think Blog Buddies should actually be BLUDDIES!!!!!! Oh my Bluddies are bloody brill!
    Absolutely blame you for the fact I've now woken the Prince by guffawing at the helment. Am imagining Mr C/T in one, in one of his fancy cars. Or wearing one to a business meeting.
    So excited about catching up with you on Friday and beyond excited to see the babber finally. I LOVE the pic at your tea party where he is smiling at Little Cuckoo. Gorgeous and priceless.
    x x

  2. HELMENT??!!! You know what I mean!!! x

  3. I should be out the door, but wanted to say i'll scan the page in and email it you if ya like? x

  4. i love the 'secret time' idea, i do that too but had never thought of a name for it!
    i did the same thing with Mollie Makes, but managed to get the last copy in my local sainsburys, i can copy the page & post it to you if you want, or there is a pattern on Ravelry here:


  5. Hey - thanks so much for leaving kenzie a comment (he told me this week "the comments from the ladies just keep on comin!")

    I too had the issue with the magazine - nearly subscibed for a year but then got a grip! Even went on WHSmith website to see if they sold it but to no avail.
    Now have that horrible 'I'm missing out' feeling!!!
    fee x

  6. Helment, brilliant!

    G have you seen this?

    Some hilarious stuff in there!

  7. Such a funny post, I wonder how many men wore the helmets? I'm thinking of making one for the Mr for Fathers Day.
    I hope you manage to get your hands in the pattern. I haven't got the mag yet but I have the pattern somewhere. Send me an email if you want me send it over.

  8. Oh my goodness, I was laughing out loud at that--the granny square baby sack really got me. Hilarious! I hope you make one :-)

    Rachel @ Maybe Matilda

  9. Thanks for the laugh, C, hysterical! It's fun to peruse through those vintage booklets (what were they thinking?!). I'd actually love to have that green blanket pattern at some point if it's not too much trouble. Thanks so much and have a 'groovy' day :-)

  10. Helmet, Helmet, Helmet.....such a funny word! Mr H and I have some words that we say a lot to each other just to make us laugh, Helmet is one of them.....strumpet another..............and frangipane! I wonder how many men would actually wear a crocheted helmet! Oh laughing at the thought!.......x

  11. I'm a bit miffed about Mollie Makes too. I subscribed, that same 3 for a fiver deal, but also ordered the first issue and it seems that everyone in blog land has the first issue, except me! When/if it does arrive, I can photocopy bits for you?

  12. Your post made LOL! You need lots of time to be knitting all the things you show us! Please don't make such a helmet for your husband. It really looks awful. Poor man!!!

    Lieve groetjes, Madelief x

  13. That is properly the funniest thing I've seen all day - Mr N is 40 next month and I am sooo tempted to crochet him one of those helmets, just to see his face when he opens it! The baby with the bonnet looks like it's just been sick in its mouth (ugh, that's a bit grim, sorry) and the one on the bed looks like he's just had an accident. ho ho ho.
    Blogger's been a pain in the bum with me so it looks like I've been stalking you I've visited your blog so many times today, but I've just been trying to comment and it wouldn't let me!!! grrrrrr
    In your capacity as general solver-of-problems, do you have any idea why my Google profile is anonymous when I 'follow' people? I've got a photo and I've put in my url, but it still shows me as a grey box (is it trying to tell me something??)
    Thanks for really making me laugh
    Emily x

  14. Those helmets for men are hilarious!! I actually managed to snag the last copy of Mollie Makes in our local Smiths and have been pondering the subscription offer - it is the best "crafty" magazine by far that I have seen but, at less than 100 pages, is not a lot of mag for your dosh. (I'd happily send you the apple cosie pattern as I don't crochet, but I see Kelly already offered)
    R xx

  15. Favourite is the bottom left helmet. Look at the slight flare of his nostril... he knows he's looking goooood! Ha ha! Funniest picture though is the child in the Dunlop inspired bonnet. Strangulation for sure. Ha! So funny!

    Am I the only person who thinks apple cosies are a bit bonkers?

    Nicki x

  16. Helo dear Cuckoo......great post!!! I dare you (make that double dare) to make Mr C a helmet!!! Re the edging you like...I actually got it from a brilliant book but modified it a bit. The book is here

    I would really recommend this book...some fab borders in it and lots of scope for modification. But not just for blankets, also for knitted items, embroidery, clothing etc xxxx

  17. Haaaaaahaaaaaa
    Do you think the barf bonnet would work in adult sizes???haaa haaa

  18. Lover, you have a T instead of an M in that link, so it doesn't work.

    Here it is!

  19. The puky baby bonnet reminds me of the hats a girl at dancing used to wear...I think they were a version of the loopy bonnets that some unfortunate babies wear (!) and they buttoned under her ear and had a hole at the back for her ponytail to be pulled through...thank goodness I only ever had a bobble hat ;o)

  20. Oh I am just getting SOOOOOO fed up with the bloomin google follower thing - I just can't make it un-anonymise me (like my made up word?) bah. The word that absolutely, perfectly describes me is cross. I am cross. Humph. I think I've undone the no email thing though, so that's a small victory... I'm off to pull out my own toe nails, that would be less painful than messing about with google.
    Emily x
    PS - love the scarf snatcher image, though some sort of Isadora Duncan-type scenario does spring to mind!

  21. PS

    Ok so I look at the apple cosies and think they are bonkers. Then I get a copy of Mollie Makes [today! hurrah} and now I want to make them. I don't eat apples but will be buying them now so that I can justify making jackets. I'm worried about myself!!


  22. I showed my kids the helmets for men and they laughed so hard and said I absolutely had to make one for Daddy! I don't think he would appreciate it. I wonder what colours they were knitted in? Hope you have a lovely weekend. x

  23. Those helmets look like something from the Norman conquest!! I remember Cuckoo's Grandad Bill having a similar one that he wore under his crash helmet when he rode his motor bike. Now; this in going back a bit, about 45 years ago. That was in the days when crash helmets were a bit like the helmets that the German army wore. I think he would be cringing right now to think that I am telling all of Cuckoo's Blog friends about it!
    I had a series of Craft books just like the one pictured, I wish I had kept them, but at that time the Cuckoo was only interested in Dancing and making up, so I didn't think that she would like them. We moved around a lot with the Navy and it was costly to move such luxuries, so they had to go :( To think that now cuckoo could be having a ball with them.

  24. Hello,

    Lovely to meet you at Knit Club today. My, what a brilliant blog you have! Really funny and interesting and loads of great photos.

    See you soon,


  25. Hi - Thank-you for your comment on my blog! It was really good to meet you yesteerday and I love your blog! The patterns brought back soo many memories for me as my my mum has folders full of these patterns at home, and created many interesting knitted items from them!
    Jo x


I L♡VE your comments. Thank you ever so for taking the time. I do try to get back to everyone but I am rather scatty and I have these 3 big distractions....(and I'm just generally a bit rubbish lately, so please don't feel obliged to leave a note) Sorry about the word verification too, too much spam.