Friday, 11 February 2011

I'm back...sort of!

I've weathered the storm, I'm out of the woods, I feel a lot better.  Things may resume in a normal fashion now, to a degree at least.
So what was ailing me?  What made me so sick I couldn't even look at raw chicken without running to the toilet.  What made me so tired I would weep first thing in the morning wondering how I was going to get through the day caring for the Cuckoo boys, the Cuckoo nest etc.....Nothing nine months doesn't sort out!
12 weeks

Yup we've a new baby due to arrive in late February.  It's been a bit of a weird pregnancy so far.  I was advised to have an amnio this time and so I didn't feel I wanted to announce the happy news till I knew this tiny little baby was going to be ok.  That I'd get to meet our baby and be able to say "I'm your Mummy, my job is to look after you, keep you safe and love you for ever and ever" which is what I say to my little boys everyday.  So I kept quiet, I felt so ill, I could have done with some help during the day but I couldn't really ask for any from the local Mum's because I couldn't/wouldn't let my secret out.  So there I was, almost half way through, trying to conceal a comically large bump.  Then finally at 18 weeks we got the all clear, another little baby boy, genetically perfect.  And so the excitement began, the bonding, the connecting. At last able to confidently tell the world that we have a baby on the way.  Able to tell people just as I started to feel quite well and so don't need any help!  And there's the law of sod.

20 weeks
I'm 23 weeks now and hooooge!  He is such a wriggler too.  Poking my tummy into all sorts of funny shapes.  The boys call him Pom Pom. Big Cuckoo is not happy that he wont be having a sister but Little Cuckoo is delighted.  I was shocked that he is a boy, I always felt I'd have a daughter one day but it seems not, though when I blow out candles and see shooting starts I still wish for a daughter, old habits and all that.  However nature is bloody clever, this child starts to grow inside you, you feel rubbish, you wonder how you'll cope, you panic, you question your sanity..., and then you see a scan of a beating heart, a flapping arm, then you feel a kick and more than anything you want THAT baby.  You NEED that baby. And there it is, overwhelming love.
So the pace has slowed around here, priorities have changed.  Whereas before I'd craft away in any fragment of spare time, now I'm on a mission to organise the whole house before Pom Pom arrives and progress is slow, I tire easily.  Little Cuckoo's room needs finishing off, the nursery needs doing (I'm losing my little room), the utility needs de-cluttering, the barn needs burning down, woops, sorry, sorting and organising, the airing cupboard needs the same treatment...  the list grows daily.  My energy levels deplete just looking at the list.  I have to create a new space for my crafting, it has to look lovely as it'll be on show, no slamming the door shut on my mess anymore!  I figure I'll be able to crochet etc... but sitting at my machine making "fronks" will stop for a while.  I'll not be decorating cakes much now either but I still have a few in the archives to blog about.  Here's the Christening one I mentioned I was doing a few posts ago.  I was delighted with it.  It was incredibly important to me that this cake should be as near to perfect as I could manage.

Who knows when I'll get back on here, I'm still constantly blogging in my head and taking pictures but I don't manage to do the real thing.
(GW you can stop nagging now! xxxxx)

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I L♡VE your comments. Thank you ever so for taking the time. I do try to get back to everyone but I am rather scatty and I have these 3 big distractions....(and I'm just generally a bit rubbish lately, so please don't feel obliged to leave a note) Sorry about the word verification too, too much spam.